I had an appointment with my throat surgeon today, and I’m happy to report that he has lifted all restrictions! The scope showed both vocal cords moving equally well which means the procedure was successful in “fixing” the scar tissue that had prevented me from making sound properly. While the doctor’s view through the scope didn’t show all angles of my vocal cords, the view was clear enough for him to say, “they look great!” I’ll take that.
So what’s next? The first thing I did when I got into my car was to cue up my favorite recording of “How Deep The Father’s Love for Us” on YouTube and to sing along to the tune I’ve been regularly singing in my head for the last 6 weeks. I have to admit, I was overwhelmed with emotion…mostly gratitude.
Before I left the medical office parking lot, I texted several members of my support team to let them know that I was cleared to sing…with no restrictions! During my drive home from the East Side, I sang along to just about the entire “Court & Spark” album, and was thrilled that the notes seemed to flow pretty smoothly. I didn’t push it – that’s why I started with Joni – but I easily reached all the notes. Again, gratitude was at the forefront of my mind. Eight weeks ago, I was filled with fear that my singing career was over, and today, I’ve been restored. Sure, I did the work and followed doctor’s orders and the instructions of my voice therapist, but God created the outcome…and I cannot even begin to express how happy I am.
I decided to go to the place where I often go to talk to God, the Shrine of the Little Flower in Royal Oak. It’s a really special place for me. Yes, it’s a shrine to my patron saint, St. Therese of Lisieux, but there’s just something about that place that makes me feel closer to God.
In that sanctuary, empty with the exception of a woman saying the Rosary in the adoration chapel, I stood and sang the one song that captures how I was feeling at that moment, “Amazing Grace.” It was the first song I ever performed in front of people back when I was about ten. Today, I just closed my eyes, and started the song. All I could hear was my voice echoing throughout the space almost like Judy Collin’s voice sounds at the beginning of the version in the link above. It was a gift, true gift…from me to God. I wanted Him to be the first one to really hear the outcome of these last few months. We’ve been hanging out together quite a bit during this whole experience. He did the heavy lifting to bring my voice back. The result was in His hands. Nice work!
So what’s next? I am going to allow myself this day to simply feel the gratitude. There’s plenty of things that will require my attention…like getting back to work, generating income, paying bills, practicing with my band, and learning the Psalm for next week’s Mass. But, just for today, I’m going to live in thanksgiving.
Thank you, friends, for hearing my voice…even when I was not able to talk.