Note to self: don’t wait until the very end of the day to write.
Especially, if you have plans for the day. While my plans paled in comparison to ‘normal’ Thursdays, still, I had planned activities: dinner with a couple friends and an evening Mass to attend.
I woke up feeling much clearer and more steady on my feet. Thank God! So true to my nature, when I feel physically good, I get active. For instance, my office is now very organized, banking is done, checkbook reconciled and my emails are all cleaned up. I decided to walk over to a friend’s house, white board in hand, and spend a few minutes visiting. I’m learning that when you are mute, visiting with one person can be a little awkward. There were lots of pregnant pauses in our conversation. That may have something to do with the fact that my friend is an Introvert. (No doubt, I dominate most of our conversations!) I was particularly amused when my friend said she wanted to tell me a story about something that had happened to her the day prior. She went on to say, “but you’re probably not interested in hearing about all that.” Are you kidding? All I can do is listen. Bring it on! Another one-on-one conversation at church was pretty comical too. I wrote my friend a question on my white board. Rather than just telling me the answer out loud, she said, “I want to write it,” and wrote it out on the white board. Hilarious! Again, people, just to remind you, my hearing wasn’t impacted by the surgery.
Now, dinner with my two friends was great. The food was from Lazy Bones Smokehouse in Roseville (probably the best ribs in town, IMHO!) I’ve noticed when there is more than one person involved in a conversation involving me, it’s way more fluid. The other two people can talk, I can listen and periodically write down a comment and feel like I’m part of the conversation. I have to admit, however, there were a few times that what I had written completely lost its impact because I couldn’t write fast enough to keep up. It was also funny to write an answer on my board, hold it up, watch them read and wait for their response. Seriously, I never paid attention to the fluid dance of conversation while engaged in it. It’s taken me stepping away from the flow to see the movement of it all. My awareness also landed on how many opportunities there were for me to interject something, but because I couldn’t write fast enough, I had to let them flow by. Lesson learned? A conversation can be successful without the two cents of this Extrovert. Imagine that! I was reminded of what I use to call my dad, “the human punctuation mark.” Yes, in that respect, I have turned into my Dad. I will work on that!
Holy Thursday Mass was great! It was the first time I’d seen the folks from my church since my surgery, and while there wasn’t much opportunity for conversation, there were plenty of waves, hand gestures and comforting smiles. It felt good to be in that space. I texted my friend later that night and told him how strange it feels to be in the midst of a church celebration and NOT sing (or talk.) I haven’t sung in church since the end of January, and it still feels weird.
The 4th day of Grand Silence was a success. I did not utter a sound, and I was still able to feel a part of the world.