I didn’t meditate yesterday and the day before. It’s something I got into the habit of doing after attending a silent retreat about meditation back in February. (Hmmm, I wonder if that weekend was a foreshadowing of what was to come!) Interestingly, I also did not post anything to the Silent Extrovert blog yesterday or the day before. I found myself very busy doing lots of things during both days and not accomplishing much of any one thing. I am concluding that to completely shut everything down in order to spend 30 quality minutes with my Higher Power each day is necessary to tap into my creativity and be more productive.
I sang last night. I only sang lead on one song and did backgrounds on another. But I did not follow doctor’s orders. That’s a tough one for a rule-follower to admit, but I chose to go to band practice to be with my bandmates prior to going silent…and I didn’t prepare to NOT sing. It’s kind of like a recovering alcoholic going to a bar without reminding herself that she is not going to drink because she’s an alcoholic. I showed up to practice last night without much of anything on my mind but……….well, there really was nothing in my mind. That’s the problem! I will do better next week when I will remind myself DAILY that I am not to talk. Period!
Sorry, but I can’t share the details of this one, because it happened in private at Manresa with a priest. As a practicing Catholic, I believe in forgiveness, and I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation. For me, it’s like forgiveness in a formal setting. It’s very renewing, very healing and something I’ve come to rely upon to maintain my serenity. (Believe me, I didn’t always feel this way, but I do now.) When I left the grounds of Manresa, I felt grateful, I felt hopeful, and ready to face what lies ahead.
After I left Manresa yesterday, a fire broke out in one of the barns. Now, I am NOT going to conclude that this was a misaimed fireball sent down from a wrathful God in response to my confession. (My Higher Power is much more loving and merciful than that.) I am, however, thankful that there were no injuries.
4 Days until Grand Silence.